Indeed, it can happen to the best of us. It can be genetics or simple love, but when Italy gets into you, it shows. Here are ten easy-to-spot signs demonstrating to the world il Bel Paese is not only in your genes and soul, but has finally pushed its way into your daily habits!
1. Coffee comes in one size only: la tazzina
Unless it’s a cappuccino you’re after, il caffé is rigorously short, even when it’s a lungo, and it always fits all into that small, perfect cup we Italians call tazzina. That’s it. You also think more and more often of “Americano” as an aperitivo rather than a coffee and latte, to you, means nothing more than milk.
2. You no longer consider square loaves real bread
Looking at a square loaf makes you think of pan carré which, incidentally, means just that, square bread. And we all know pan carré is not real bread at all: it’s good for stuzzichini and some fancy aperitivo snacks involving mayonnaise, olives and smoked salmon. No, bread must be crusty and has names like ciabatta, sfilatino, rosetta e pagnottella, and there’s no lying about it.
3. You venture in the land of aperitivi like a pro
Since aperitivo has become international, more and more people enjoy this Italian tradition, but you went a step further and finally broke out of the Aperol Spritz and prosecco mold: Negroni is your tipple of choice when you know you are heading out, even though a simpler Martini Bianco with ice and lemon may be favored on a quieter evening. Gone are also the fruit juices or the mineral water for those nights when alcohol is not an option: it’s Sanbitter and Crodino on ice all the way. And the food? God forbid they bring you chips and peanuts: a decent aperitivo must at least have a platter of salatini, pizzette, focaccia, frittatine, cold cuts and cheeses, otherwise you may as well ask for your money back.
4. The idea of wearing sportswear outside of the gym makes you cringe
This may be one of the hardest things to cope with once you have turned fully Italian, because sportswear is so incredibly comfortable and, in recent times, it has become very fashionable indeed. But no: what goes in the gym, stays in the gym, exception made for some types of sneakers like Chuck’s, Puma’s or New Balance, but you don’t really wear those while training anyway, right?
5. More and more often, you buy your food at local stores instead of supermarkets
Fruit and vegetables cannot come from the supermarket: they must come from the greengrocer’s. And the ham? The ham comes from the deli store and the bread from the bakery down the corner because that’s just the way it works, dear. Also, all of the above must be bought daily, never mind it means running like an olympian to get to the store before it closes after work.
6. Designer scents are the most precious of accessories
Who doesn’t like to smell nice? As the land home to the first professional perfume makers in history, Italy takes it a step further. You know you’re fully Italian when owning an expensive perfume becomes a necessity, better still if it is a classic. Mind, natural essences are ok for everyday use, but when it comes to special occasions or nights out, it’s either original Dolce e Gabbana and Aqua di Parma or nothing. For goodness’ sake, stay away from the fake bottle.
7. No more shortcuts in the kitchen
Fresh, homegrown, homemade: if this is your kitchen trinity, you may as well ask for full citizenship. A long time ago, you may have made the mistake of buying that already-shredded lettuce or those tubs of pizza dough you get at the cold counter at the supermarket, but that’s no longer your world. If you want pizza, you make it. If you want grated carrots, you grate them: cheating in the kitchen is no longer an option.
8. Judging people’s aesthetics is your new job
With a past filled with world changing artists and a series of names still leading the game in design and the arts today, it comes as no surprise that your metamorphosis into a full Italian involves a heightened sense of beauty. And that’s why you silently judge people’s own taste in clothing, furniture, music and literature without even noticing it. Anyone unable to match colors properly, or to recognise a well made garment from a “Made in China” one goes straight onto your bad books. In your defense, you never openly criticise and, let’s face it, your style and taste are always impeccable.
9.You know what each of these words mean
Indeed, the safest sign your genes turned fully tricolored is your knowledge and use of the Bella Lingua, in all its nuances. For instance, you know well the meaning of apericena, an aperitivo where loads and loads of aperitivo food is served, and also of fancazzista, the slightly offensive, but oh-so-common word to indicate someone who doesn’t like to work and is not ashamed of admitting it. Similarly, you love the sound and meaning of lavativo, a higher register version of fancazzista, particularly loved when used against a younger individual. And what about the most quintessential of Italian idioms, perché no? Why not: all the good and the bad of my country can be explained by answering this question.
10. Without a Presepe, it’s not a real Christmas
And last, but not certainly least, the Presepe. Yes, the Presepe is the ultimate sign you became Italian, because in Italy Christmas is not Christmas without it and we’re pretty much the only nation where the representation of the holy birth has become so essential to the Festivity. The Presepe is a tradition, a form of art and, of course, a reason of pride. Last year, you may or may not have managed to get your mitts on some original Neapolitan figurines, and you have been already thinking to create a real, tiny waterfall in it next December, courtesy of your cats’ water fountain and a large amount of aluminum foil.
Alas, my friends, if you have ticked at least half of the above, you may well ask the Embassy for an Italian passport… unless you own one already, that is!
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